Archives for the month of: January, 2013

This post is to vent. Sorry folks!!!

First….. (Sorry there is more than one issue today!)
I got a random text message from my husband’s best man today. Just saying hello and asking how I was. That’s fine. A stinted conversation followed because he doesn’t normally contact me. I then asked the question about how his pregnant girlfriend was as she is due to go on maternity leave at the end of the week. All seems normal so far.

Just to add some background to this, I’ve mentioned his girlfriend before on my blog. She was trying for several years to get pregnant and became the very person I am trying to avoid being. She was obsessive with falling pregnant, forcing the conversation onto the topic at every possible moment. She took pregnancy tests regularly just in case and the whole thing overtook her personality. She also had to highlight to the world and his wife how I am also struggling to fall pregnant.

Anyway, back to the story!! The conversation went on saying how she was slowing down and getting ready for her leave. THEN he says “so don’t you want to be a mum then?”. Errrrr excuse me? What kind of stupid question is that??? Followed by “surely seeing everyone else having kids must make you want one of you own?”

Seriously now. They were in the exact same position as my husband and I are in. Tests, doctors, blah blah blah. How STUPID can you be to ask such an insensitive question??? COME ON!!
Out of anyone else I could understand it, but from the one of the few people that know we are trying and have been for years, as well as going through the same!! Well it was like a kick in the stomach. It seems his memory is really short and he’s forgotten everything from more than 6 months ago.

Am I being overly sensitive??? Is it me????

Second……
A friend at work announced she was pregnant on Friday. It’s all good and I am happy for her. Completely planned and what she wanted as she wanted a brother or sister for her son.

It’s an unusual situation in that she isn’t with her son’s dad any more, but she didn’t want kids by different dads, so this baby’s dad is also her ex.

So she basically planned everything to the day, and they had sex. She calculated her dates and they had sex 3 times around her fertile time. Bam, she was pregnant the first month (think her ex was a little disappointed not to string that out a few more months!).

I am truly happy for her but insanely jealous. My first thoughts….”that’s so unfair!” Damn it!!

Third……
Parents should not own a computer!!!

Rant over!! Thanks for your patience 🙂 I feel a bit better now x

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Well it appears at the moment that our prayers from my previous blog have been answered.
Our family friend has come through his surgery well and when he came round, appeared to be in good spirits :). Such fabulous news.

Hopefully we’ll be able to go visit him soon.

Although the hard part is over, I will continue to pray for a full and speedy recovery.

I am absolutely thrilled, but for some reason this news has left me feeling really inadequate. I think it’s because it’s made me realise how hard life can be sometimes as a result of things out of our control. I constantly feel I make my own life more difficult with things that are in my control! So, tomorrow, I am pledging to send off that application I mentioned before…the one that could change my life forever. Time to stop waiting for the good stuff to land in my lap and go get it. If I don’t it may never arrive and I’ll have wasted my life waiting.

Hopefully my life will make a fully recovery in the same way I pray our friend will!!!

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A candle is a simple thing, but lighting that wick can be so much more.

It can set the mood for romance……. 😉 it can be the saviour in a power cut……., it can be a comfort on a dark winters evening…………, it can lit in memory of someone………
And as intended in my picture today, it is a prayer.

It is a prayer for a person who is important in my life, a man I class as an uncle (more so than some of my blood uncles!). He is undergoing surgery on Saturday, so this is a prayer from our family for his safe recovery. A candle will be lit every day now up to and beyond his surgery.

It’s amazing the many different things that little flame can represent.

It fascinated me when I started thinking about it, so thought I’d share the thought.

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The other day, another blogger I follow – http://rooneyvspunkyz.wordpress.com – posted about being an idiot sometimes. I tried to reblog it but couldn’t figure out how to do that and write more as well.

But his blog made me giggle and I thought “that sounds just like something I would do!”

So I thought I’d share too!!!

We have established that basically my sister and I shouldn’t get public transport together. Trains or trams more specifically!

Our first little incident was during the Olympics. Off we went up to town, knowing we need to get the DLR straight to the venue. No problem. We got on the train, made ourselves comfy and chatted the journey away. The train emptied and filled, emptied and filled. Then we got to one station and it emptied completely. Hardly noticing, we carried on chatting until we saw the driver come and sit at the our end of the train.

Errrrrrr, we’re at the end of the line….did we miss our stop???? Nope!! We hadn’t, we’d just got on the completely wrong line!!! Doh!! We stayed on the train as it left the station the same way it had come in! We finally got to the Olympic venue, an hour later than expected!!

Some time passed. All was forgotten. Until the other day, just before Christmas. The two of us took our youngest nephew to the Panto. Got there fine, with minutes to spare. Coming back now, here we go again…..!

We get to the train station and see there is 10 minutes until our tram. The only problem is, the tram and train share one platform with a divider half way down.

Which end of the platform do we need to be on?? Must be that end…..so off we went. You can see where I’m going with this can’t you? There was an empty bench waiting for us to perch on, set back nicely so it was protected from the wind. It also meant we could no longer see the “wrong” end of the platform…… So an hour later – yes, an hour! – we wander up the platform to check what’s going on. There had been no announcements and the board was still saying 10 minutes. Then, just a few minutes later, the tram turned up. At that “wrong” end of the platform. So it’s fairly safe to say we’d probably missed at least 5 trams whilst waiting on our bench!!! Oooopsy!

So, in the words of rooneyvspunkyz, I can be an idiot sometimes!!!

Next time I think we’ll drive!!

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So, it’s a few days into the new year. How many of you have already broken your New Years resolution??? Stop spending…..quit smoking……go to the gym?? Normally, I never kid myself! I’ll break it, so why bother making it??

But today, I read a headline that I thought – YEAH – I’m going to go with that as my resolution. If it works, then whey hey, life will be great. If not, well I broke all my other resolutions, so this would be no different!!

My new year resolution is “to be brave, successful and happy”.

I know I know, if I’m going to steal someone else’s resolution, I could have at least chosen something a little more specific and easier!!! But in for a penny, in for a pound!!

I then had to think about what I actually thought these would look like in my world.
Brave – I need to be more honest with my husband about my feelings and how important things are to me. Because I try to avoid being the nagging wife, I’ll not keep chasing him to do this, do that and do the other. But in doing this, I think he misses what I find important and what I don’t. So, rather than being scared of his reactions, I just need to grab the bull by the horns.
Successful – yet to figure this one out. But if I can achieve the happy part, then that would be enough for me. I’m not concerned about being successful in work or money matters.
Happy – well it means exactly what it says on the tin. But I’m coming to realise that it’s not about successfully doing x y and z to become happy. I want to be happy with what I have. I want to stop seeing the negatives and be genuinely happy with everything I do have. Although I have made true in roads into my mindset over the last year to achieve that – there is always that niggle at the back of my mind about wanting a baby. Grrrrr…get over it already. If its meant to be it’ll happen!!!

So there you go. My attempt at a New Years resolution!!

I was also watching a film today with a fantastic saying that I’ll try to remember going forward, as it might help me with the resolution – “It will always work out alright in the end. If its not alright, then it’s not the end!”

Love that!! So here we go! Lets see what 2013 brings!!

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Happy New Year to you all!
I’m entering the new year full of optimism, despite the fact I had to call in sick my first day back to work because of the flu!

I saw the new year in with some of my closest friends. We didn’t go out, but just spent time with each other. It was one of the best New Years I’ve had in such a long time. Relaxed and comfortable, no anti-climax or worrying about how much money we were spending.

I feel more in control than ever before. Even if my life doesn’t change drastically this year, it will because that’s the way I want it. But, I am determined not to procrastinate and to make this year count.

I also want to make sure I appreciate every day, and document more of them, including making sure I write on here more. Some of that will be easier, courtesy of the new camera we treated ourselves to for Christmas!!

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