Archives for the month of: March, 2017

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Well that’s it.  Two blastocysts moved in today.  I hope they like it enough to stick around.

I left home with plenty of time.  As I had to go to Harley Street in central London, I opted for train and tube rather than driving (hubby’s experience of doing that at the egg collection stage was not a good one!).  I thought that would be less stressful and just easier in general.

However, they can be unreliable – hence allowing myself plenty of time.  So, when I got to my local station to find a packed platform and not enough space on the first train…..it was fine.  I was happy to wait for the next one.  When there was a delay on the tube because of a broken down train…..again it was fine…..actually did me a favour preventing me from being too early!

Knowing I had to have a full bladder for this (I hate that part), I emptied my bladder before I left home.  I had a drink with me for the journey.  I was more than half an hour early – but felt comfortable…..by the time my appointment was due – I’d be ready.  Speaking to the receptionist they had my name on the list (phew!) but said there was a slight delay.  They had had a fire alarm earlier on in the day.  At this point I started getting a little concerned….would my bladder hold out.  ‘Don’t drink any more’ the receptionist said ‘just to be sure’. Great!

15 minutes after my appointment time (not too bad I thought), I was taken in.  After getting in the normal garb (those sexy hospital gowns) I was then scanned (externally) to make sure my bladder was sufficiently full.  The nurse looked at the screen, ‘Oh you are more than ready!’….hmmm yes thanks…….I know that already……..I feel like my bladder is about to burst!

After all the polite introductions, the embryologist confirmed both embryos survived the thaw. What a relief! Then before I knew it, I was lying back on the bed, legs akimbo and in stirrups with the bed god knows how high in the air.  A giant light shining on my minnie, just to be sure everyone got a good view!  Sadly, after being on this road for so long, I was actually beyond caring.

I’ve posted before about the actual process followed, and this was exactly the same.  All in all, in lasted 5 minutes.

After that, I pee’d for England, got dressed and headed home again.  A nice leisurely pace, all the time in the world.

So here we go, the start of the infamous 2 week wait (2WW).  On 10th April we’ll find out.  Come on little beans……stick…….hang on for your lives………please like your new home!

 

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In my previous post, I mentioned that we needed to make a decision…..a choice…..one egg or two for the FET.

I am all booked in for Wednesday at 2pm.

First of all – I would like to curse the internet.  Providing so much information (sometimes conflicting) that my head is ready to burst and full of worst case scenarios.  I know this sounds hypocritical, considering I am writing a blog online, but right now – I feel like ignorance would be bliss.  But, that’s just not my style.  I research, research, research.  I like to make informed decisions.

Up until now, the only decision we have had to make so far is that we want a family.  All the other decisions have pretty much been made by the doctors and we have gone along with them.  All part of the process.

But this ball is firmly back in our court.

From pretty early on, I was always inclined to go for 2 eggs (if that was an option).  Because I am over 35, it is an option (in my area, they will not do multiple eggs if under 35) and we have enough good quality eggs.  The main thoughts behind this were: we don’t mind having twins, in fact I quite like the idea albeit am petrified how hard it will be; I want to improve my chances of this being successful first time (surely 2 eggs have more chance??); and research has highlighted the risk that not all eggs survive the thawing process.

There are negatives in that; there are likely to be more pregnancy complications with twins; as I understand it I am at a higher risk of miscarriage because of my PCOS; if we were lucky enough for two sticky beans, they would likely need to be born prematurely which is a risk for them; and should something happen to one – there is a risk I lose both.

Then, at my last scan, the doctor said I should go for one.  The eggs are high quality and so she thinks its a given I will fall pregnant with twins.  Whilst I like her confidence….her main concern was the complications during pregnancy.  She also confirmed, if we went for one egg, and that did not survive the thaw, another one would be done immediately on the day, so there would be no further delays (another concern).

When I called the clinic to then make my appointment for the FET – I said that very thing because they already had the paperwork stating two eggs were to be transferred.  The woman was very kind and talked me through a few points; apparently alot of doctors advise against twin pregnancies due to the difficulties, but according to my notes, she said there was not reason to believe I would have any problems; this clinic’s success rate is 40 – 50% with one egg and 50 – 60% with two eggs; and in reality, as a clinic, they only advise against two eggs if there is a medical condition which means it really should be avoided, or we really don’t want twins.

This has swayed me back to going with two eggs again.

Now, I am bricking it.  A new concern that has entered my head.  What if the eggs do stick (yay) and then split? Forming 2 sets of identical twins??? Can my body cope with that? Would they survive??  In the past some of hubby’s family have joked around saying hubby was actually a twin, but the other twin didn’t survive.  I don’t think it is true…..I need to speak to my mother in law!

Has anyone else in this position actually been scared of success in this?  This is something that we have wanted for so long, but will change everything.  Are my worries normal?  I am dreading failure and a negative test at the end of the 2WW, but I am braced for it.  Or are all these random thoughts because of these hormone drugs???

Anyway – one step at a time.  4 days to go, and 2 eggs will be transferred.  Lets do this.

My scan confirmed today that the Progynova medication has worked. My lining is ‘nice and thick’ – the apparent technical term.

My instructions now are to stop the Suprecur injections, continue with the Progynova tablets (1, 3 times a day) and start with the progesterone pessaries (2 a day, morning and night).  And, tomorrow I need to call the embryologist and book the transfer. The doctor said at a guess, that would be Wednesday next week. 6 days time. Wow. Seems real now.

She also advised me to only do 1 egg and not 2 as we were originally planning. She said all the eggs were top quality and a twin pregnancy could lead to more complications. But, she said it was ultimately down to us……oh the decisions.  I don’t mind having twins, I actually like the idea, but I don’t want to put myself in a position of something going wrong. We need to decide before I make the call in the morning!

I am continuing to struggle with the emotional roller coaster this week. This week was particularly stressful with hubby going away for a course and the the attacks on London yesterday (with a family member working in Parliament stress levels were very high until we got confirmation he was ok).

So here is hoping for a better week next week! For us and the country!

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I say a week, its been 5 days now, so just shy of a week.

So I’ve been injecting Suprecur (50 units) once a day now.  I am glad that has reduced down, but my belly is feeling more tender now.  Initially the injections didn’t hurt, but now it seems to be that little bit more painful each time.  I’ll be glad to see the back of them!

The progynova is a small tablet – similar to the ones I used to take when on the contraceptive pill.  Nice and easy to swallow.  I need to take one 3 times a day.  But I have a shocking memory – so this is proving quite difficult for me!  I now have alarms set for everything as I simply don’t remember anything anymore.  This is not a side effect of any medication – more a side effect of being in my family.  We are all like it – I am sure it is inherited!!

Side effects – well – I can tell the progynova is a hormone treatment.  I am just hoping it is helping to thicken my lining as it is supposed to – making the rest all worth it.

Compared to all the other medications – it is this that has sent me a little crazy.  Mood swings – not quite, but boy has it made my emotions be all over the place!! Definitely feel like I am yo-yoing.  It is hard work for me – never mind my hubby/family around me.  Sorry peeps!

One other thing I have noticed is my psoraisis.  I struggle with it at times anyway – normally stress related, and it has recently flared up in more places than usual.  I am not sure if that is because of having a new bathroom fitted and being stressed about that (but I don’t feel stressed) or whether it is linked to the medication.  I’ll be monitoring that one!

Five more days to go until my next scan.  I hope my lining is as thick as it needs to be so I can book in the FET!  Eeeeek!  Nerves are kicking in now!

 

Today was a scan day.  Time to see if my body has been responding to the medication as it is supposed to.

Phew! It has.  My lining is thin as it is supposed to and my ovaries are ‘quiet’. The technical terms apparently!

So, I now start taking Progynova (Oestradiol Valerate) – 1 tablet (2mg), 3 times a day and 1 Suprecur injection a day (still 50 units).

Symptom wise – everything pretty much has remained the same.

I’m booked in for another scan in 10/11 days time. Hopefully my body responds to this next step as it is supposed to as well!

 

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I use the word dream alot.

I dream of being a mum, having a family etc etc.  But I don’t really mean dream, I mean that is my ambition….my goal…..my desire.

This morning however, I was freaked out about a dream I had last night.  I never remember my dreams, so the fact I remember even this small fraction of a dream spooked me.  And I didn’t dream of having a baby in my arms, or seeing a little child running around……but of getting a positive pregnancy test.

As dreams go, they are never completely normal, so I just remember seeing the cross appear on the test…..as well as another little window, but instead of saying pregnant, it said daughter.  Hubby was with me and there was a pure moment of disbelief and joy.

I wonder if that dream will ever come true (bar the sex of the baby window!).

 

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It’s been just over a week since I started injecting Suprecur. 50 units twice a day, 12 hours apart.

To sum up how its been so far…….Tired, thirsty and hungry.

Tired – I’m not sure if that was related to a particularly hectic week seeing me travelling a lot around the country for work.  But I have felt drained.  My sleep has also been a little disturbed waking up feeling particularly hot and thirsty.

Thirsty – not just in the middle of the night as I’ve just mentioned, but all the time!  I am a self confessed Coke addict (Coca Cola that is….!) but the fizz hasn’t been doing it for me and I’ve been wanting, needing and drinking more squash (as I hate drinking water on its own!).  I quickly notice if I don’t drink enough I start getting a headache – feeling dehydrated and the headache always disappears once I have had a drink.

Hungry – I’ve been wanting to eat more this last week.  Again I don’t know whether that is attributed to a busy week or the medication.  But I am getting paranoid about putting on too much weight.  I have also tried to to eat healthier – so I have been buying a lot more fruit and making myself fruit salads to nibble on (although I will admit some chocolate has snuck through the net!).

The odd injection (literally one or two) have also left me with a slight bruise.  Not sure what I did wrong there, but it does make my pin cushion belly look less appealing than normal!

For anyone else that is on this I will also add one more tip – avoid travel that leaves your timings tight!  It just causes unnecessary stress that you don’t need.  And I quickly discovered public toilets are disgusting.  On one day I was about 40 mins late with my injection because I just could not bring myself to inject myself in a dirty toilet.  Totally unsanitary.  Awful.  So this coming week I have tried to ensure my diary means I get home from work in plenty of time.

So, onwards for another week until my scan. I hope my body has reacted as it is supposed to!