Archives for the month of: October, 2012

I’ve posted in the past about taking time to look around and see what’s around you in every day life. I came across another story today that shows how we can be too busy in our lives to notice beauty…..

‎”A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that 1,100 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by, and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace, and stopped for a few seconds, and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping, and continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried, but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally, the mother pushed hard, and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money, but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the most talented musicians in the world. He had just played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, on a violin worth $3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste, and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?”

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When I first started writing this blog, I thought I’d be writing frequently to explain how I feel the whole time. A bit of therapy for me as we’ll as sharing for others who are going through something similar, or to educate those that haven’t.

I’ve not been blogging as frequently as I thought, frankly because I’m bored of moaning all the time! Well that’s what it feels like anyway. I’m just grateful for the fact you guys have a choice. If I waffle on you can just ignore it!

I hate the person this ‘want’ is making me become. I’m scared of losing myself. I feel like I’ve become consumed by this desire to have a child.

I have a group of friends. Most of whom have had kids or are pregnant now. Some fell pregnant easily and others tried for years (like me). I notice the difference. Those who fell pregnant easily are still them, but with a kid. Those who didn’t have lost themselves and they are just their child’s mum. For example: my friend Kate has a daughter. She fell pregnant within 3 months of coming off the pill. When you first meet her, you can have a normal conversation and you would only know she has a child if you asked her. Another friend Lindsay tried for years. When you first meet her, you will know within minutes she has a son and will know everything about him. The conversation will constantly be steered back to him or motherhood. They are both devoted to their kids, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like Lindsay has lost her own personality along the way.

This is what scares me. I am me, and that’s who I want to be! And that’s who I want to stay! I want to be the best mum I can be, but I don’t want to lose who I am.

I want to be able to enjoy myself again. I find that every happy situation I find myself in in life is tainted by feeling that something is missing. Will that ever end? Will it only end once we have successfully conceived? What if that never happens?

I have my moments. Some days when I’m thinking straight, I know there are many many others in a similar situation. I’m not the first and definitely not the last to feel like this. Then I have the bad days; I’m thinking emotionally rather than straight. Those days mean I’m the only one in the world that feels like this, it’s all so unfair and woe is me. Sadly, having PCOS means I have a few more hormonal days than most making bad days more frequent.

For now, I am still fighting for me. I refuse to talk about it incessantly (which sadly means I’ve had to actively avoid 1 particular friend who has already lost herself), refuse to take pregnancy tests every month ‘just in case’ or take my temperature every day to see if I’m ovulating! I’m obsessing but forcing myself not to at the same time.

I hope I don’t lose me.

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When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.

The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was
Full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full..

The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed..

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things—your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car..

The sand is everything else—the small stuff.

‘If you put
The sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children.

Spend time with your parents.

Visit with grandparents.

Take your spouse out to dinner.

Play another 18.

There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.

Take care of the golf balls first—the things that really matter.

Set your priorities.

The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented.

The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’

The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.