Archives for posts with tag: pregnancy

Why do issues always arise on a weekend or bank holiday?

Easter Monday I woke up to find I had started spotting.  It’s amazing how quickly the panic started rising within me.

I called the non emergency NHS number, who in turn got a doctor to call me back. That phone call was the first time I said it out loud – that I am 5 weeks pregnant. It was just the harsh reality of having to follow that with – and I’ve started bleeding.

Ultimately…..I have just a few spots in the last 48 hours, so I am hoping all will be ok. The doctor said at this point it wasn’t a cause for concern and I didn’t need to go and see anyone.  I still have my scan next week, so I just have to hope and pray it actually shows a bubba and a heartbeat.  I have never wanted to wish my life away more…..I just want to fast forward until after the scan so I know either way.

I have to reiterate. This is not for the faint hearted! 

Despite these sticks showing clear positives over 3 different days, I still cannot believe that this means there is a little bubba growing inside of me.  After reading so many stories on the Internet, I just keep thinking these are false positives. 

I have a scan a week tomorrow. If I see something on the screen, then I might finally believe it.

I’m doing everything I should be though. I am still taking my Progynova 3 times a day and the Progesterone pessaries twice a day.  I seem to have alarms going off left right and centre to remind me! I am also taking vitamins for pregnant ladies.  I’ve also stopped drinking which has resulted in a few raised eyebrows from close family. Being the Greek Orthadox Easter this weekend has really made it difficult! I may have to cave and tell the family ahead of the scan.

Just in case this is real, I have also downloaded a pregnancy app on my phone, have started taking sideways photos to create a time lapse video should I get to full term and I have started moisturising my whole body twice a day to try and help reduce or prevent any stretch marks.

Symptom wise…..well this is the bit that concerns me…..I seem to be severely lacking. I found an online calculator for IVF due dates, and according to that, should there be 1 bubba, I would be due on 15 December. If it is twins it would be earlier. Anyway – that basically puts me at 5 weeks along. More often than not, I have a feeling in my belly that is a cross between period pain and trapped wind. Some days I feel bloated, others I’m not. I feel thirst permanently and my feet, hands and lips feel permanently dry. Even with moisturising twice a day, I am going through ALOT of hand cream too!  With all of these though, I feel like these could be side effects of the medication and not a clear indication of a sticky bean.

Everyone refers to the killer 2WW, but I know feel like I am in that all over again until my scan to know for sure. This process is not for the faint hearted. 

crazy

Crazy lady is officially here.

The two week wait (2WW) is incredibly hard and its only been 3 days!  Over analysing everything, and I mean EVERYTHING.  Every tiny twinge in the belly, every small ache in my back, every time I need to go to the loo.  I switch constantly between, ‘is this it happening (meaning implantation)?’ or ‘these are period symptoms, I bet I come on shortly and it will all be over’.

I’ve not been back into the office since transfer day either.  Maybe when I go back in on Monday, that will help take my mind off things.   I hope so!

Just a few updates though:

I have stopped:

  • Taking my multivitamins. I realised late in this process that the multivitamins I was taking have Vitamin A and so are not recommended for those pregnant or trying to become pregnant.  Right now that is at least one less pill to take!
  • Drinking as much Coke.  I actually went to the trouble of googling how much caffeine there was in a can of Coke Zero and the amount a pregnant woman is allowed.  There is a lot less in Coke Zero than I realised – but I have cut down drastically on how much I was drinking.  And that’s been through choice a lot of the time – I’ve just not fancied it as much.

I have continued:

  • Taking my Progynova tablets – one, three times a day;
  • Using the Cylogest Progesterone Pessaries;
  • Taking my folic acid supplements;
  • Eating a balanced diet, although being a little more careful.  Missing prawns already!

I have started:

  • Taking naps!  A quick afternoon snooze.  I am not reading into this too much.  It is more likely to be from the progesterone than pregnancy;
  • Being obsessed with You tube videos of how implantation works. Watching them wondering whether either of our little beans have stuck and survived.

8 more days to go until this misery is over one way or another!

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The plan had initially been, start the IVF treatment around the 13th October.  That was based on the last few months cycles – they had been, miraculously, between 4 and 5 weeks.  In reality – 10th October was the 28 day date – when most ‘normal’ people would be due on.  Working to plan this would mean we would go through the process and be taking a pregnancy test around mid November.

Needless to say, my body decided it didn’t want to co-operate.  Last Wednesday I spoke with the clinic and they ordered all the medication for the process.  They also confirmed that they would then consider inducing my period with medication if it didn’t arrive soon.

So Saturday, this lot was delivered.  I expected a lot, but it still seemed to be so much!

Then on Sunday, my period arrived without medication.  Finally.  I literally thought to myself ‘About bloody time!’.  This meant that Monday I had my day 2 scan and told to start the course.  The doctor confirmed the scan looked normal with my left ovary looking more poly-cystic than the right.  As I walked home from the hospital – it all suddenly became very real.  Its all very over whelming.  Almost a panic.

That evening I started my injections of Gonal-f. 150 units every night.  I’ve been told to do it at roughly that same time every day – so 7.30pm is my time.  I take the injection and my folic acid tablets together. So far, I’ve not felt any different.  No emotional roller-coaster (yet) and no bloating (yet).  But I have felt incredibly thirsty the last few days and I can’t be sure if that is because of the medication or psychological.  The clinic told me to ensure I drank lots because the body will need extra fluid to support the growth of multiple eggs – so knowing this, I don’t know if it is a real feeling or not.  But either way, I am making sure I am drinking a lot more than normal to be sure.

On Friday I have my day 6 scan – all to schedule with the one they gave me.  I should also be having a blood test the same day.  Looking through the schedule they gave me, I calculated that the eggs should be collected on 14th November.  I wonder whether that will all go to plan.

For the last 9 years, everything seems to have been plodding along at a slow slow pace that frustrated the hell out of me.  Now I feel that I am in full on sprint mode and I am bricking it.  I feel absolutely petrified all of sudden.  Scared it will work, scared it won’t work.  Just scared full stop.  Deep breaths and take one day at a time.  That’s all I can do now.

 

 

 

  
So round 2 of Clomid is done.  I should have re-read my previous posts, because I’d forgotten about the trouble sleeping….but as last time, as soon as I finished the tablets, my sleeping went back to normal.

Because I had already had 1 ‘successful’ round of Clomid, the doctor told me to wait until day 10 for my next scan. However, it would help if the hospital answered the telephone to book an appointment. I rang and rang and rang.  I was letting the phone ring out until it cut off – giving up before I did!  

So on day 10, I was working close to the hospital, so went in on my lunch break.  All they could tell me was they were short staffed! Anyway, they couldn’t fit in a quick scan, so I just booked one for a week after ovulation. That was what I had been told to do last month. 

The medication does seem to be keeping me on the right path time wise.  My period arrived exactly 28 days after the start of my first one. And yesterday, I tested positive with the ovulation test – bang on 14 days.  I could get used to this knowing when things happen malarkey!  So I seem to be following the same trend as last month, although I don’t know exactly how many eggs have matured to be released. 

I’ve been paying particular attention the last few days as well, to any twinges I’ve felt. It appears the pain I felt last month was either a one off or something unrelated as this time round, bar a few pangs, have experienced no pain through ovulation.

But knowing dates mean you know when you need to get jiggy with it.  Many of you will know this if you’ve tried to get pregnant….but you say bye bye to being spontaneous and where sex is fun, to it being a chore and having to ‘negotiate’ schedules. I chuckled to myself last night as my husband and I were discussing it yesterday….’not tonight, but I can squeeze you in here….’

So here we go again….lets see if we get lucky this month!

This post is to vent. Sorry folks!!!

First….. (Sorry there is more than one issue today!)
I got a random text message from my husband’s best man today. Just saying hello and asking how I was. That’s fine. A stinted conversation followed because he doesn’t normally contact me. I then asked the question about how his pregnant girlfriend was as she is due to go on maternity leave at the end of the week. All seems normal so far.

Just to add some background to this, I’ve mentioned his girlfriend before on my blog. She was trying for several years to get pregnant and became the very person I am trying to avoid being. She was obsessive with falling pregnant, forcing the conversation onto the topic at every possible moment. She took pregnancy tests regularly just in case and the whole thing overtook her personality. She also had to highlight to the world and his wife how I am also struggling to fall pregnant.

Anyway, back to the story!! The conversation went on saying how she was slowing down and getting ready for her leave. THEN he says “so don’t you want to be a mum then?”. Errrrr excuse me? What kind of stupid question is that??? Followed by “surely seeing everyone else having kids must make you want one of you own?”

Seriously now. They were in the exact same position as my husband and I are in. Tests, doctors, blah blah blah. How STUPID can you be to ask such an insensitive question??? COME ON!!
Out of anyone else I could understand it, but from the one of the few people that know we are trying and have been for years, as well as going through the same!! Well it was like a kick in the stomach. It seems his memory is really short and he’s forgotten everything from more than 6 months ago.

Am I being overly sensitive??? Is it me????

Second……
A friend at work announced she was pregnant on Friday. It’s all good and I am happy for her. Completely planned and what she wanted as she wanted a brother or sister for her son.

It’s an unusual situation in that she isn’t with her son’s dad any more, but she didn’t want kids by different dads, so this baby’s dad is also her ex.

So she basically planned everything to the day, and they had sex. She calculated her dates and they had sex 3 times around her fertile time. Bam, she was pregnant the first month (think her ex was a little disappointed not to string that out a few more months!).

I am truly happy for her but insanely jealous. My first thoughts….”that’s so unfair!” Damn it!!

Third……
Parents should not own a computer!!!

Rant over!! Thanks for your patience 🙂 I feel a bit better now x

I needed a distraction.  I’ve found out the last few weeks that a few friends are pregnant.  Everywhere I go there seem to be pregnant ladies.  I need something to take my mind away from babies!

So, I’ve been taking a few little trips.  Nothing major – just either for the day or for one overnight, but a change of scenery to lift my mood!

First I went North….

 

 

I stayed in this quaint little hotel with a fabulous pool!  And for a bargain.

 

The bright sunshine was enough to lift anyone’s mood!

Later on in the week I headed South…..I combined it with a work visit, so it meant I didn’t pay for it either!  Its all the more enjoyable when its free!

 

 

We have some wonderful sights in this country, but I have to confess I spend most of the time wishing to be somewhere else!  When I go on holiday, I always explore…taking in the sights and seeing as much as possible.  Yet there is so much in the UK that I haven’t seen!  Its time to change that and make more of an effort to see the country I live in!

Keeping busy is helping.  And for a few hours on those days, I do forget (almost) about whats going on (or not as the case may be).

One day hopefully I’ll be able to revisit some of these places with my child……

I’m not giving up hope yet!