Looking back over my previous posts and I realise as much as I’ve written a lot, I’ve not really said much at all.

I recently found another blog that spoke about trying to conceive (TTC) and it was very helpful because it went into detail!!!

So I’m going to try and tell you more….just in case some of you are also TTC.

So, I’ll start at the beginning. Apologies if there is some repetition from earlier posts.

Five and a half years ago, my husband and I got married. But my story goes back a little further. Ever since I ‘matured’ I’ve never had regular periods. So, at 17, I went on the pill….both for contraception, but to also help regulate my periods. Fast forward again now to 2006. It was approximately a year before the wedding and I purchased my wedding dress…..yay!! As soon as I bought the dress, silly as this sounds, I became paranoid about getting pregnant and not being able to fit in it!! How little did I know! Once it got to 6 months before the wedding…..this was when I really started panicking – again ridiculous as I was still on the pill! But we were getting married abroad….and I’d paid a fortune for this dress. I was expecting something to jeopardise that.

Once we got to 3 months before the wedding, I relaxed. I then actually started thinking – it would be perfect if I could fall pregnant now. I knew that at 3 months I probably wouldn’t be showing, and what an announcement to make at the wedding!! But common sense prevailed. We were getting married abroad, and then going on honeymoon for 2 weeks – so basically away for a month. I didn’t want to then have a period whilst on holiday!!! Or worse yet – on our wedding day!!
So I stayed on the pill so that I could skip a period as needed.

So a fabulous wedding and honeymoon later…..we returned home. The pill packet went straight in the bin. Each month for the next 3 months, I came on, regular as clockwork, the same as when I was on the pill. Then nothing. One month went by………then a second……dare I consider I’m pregnant???

As I sat in the toilet after peeing on a stick, nerves made those 2 minutes seem like hours. For nothing!! Negative. Gutted is an understatement. A third month, and several pregnancy tests later, I book an appointment at the doctor – still with a false hope. Although friends mean to be helpful – coming out with all these stories of people who have false pregnancy tests and get to giving birth without realising they are pregnant really doesn’t help.

When in the doctors office, the nurse asked me what they could do for me. I explained and she asks me, “do you feel pregnant?”. How the hell do I know? I’ve never been pregnant before!! I feel weird, but how much of that is in my head???

The doctor does another pregnancy test – again another pleasant experience. Doing it in your own bathroom is one thing, but having to carry a cup of pee through the doctors waiting room – NICE!! Every shred of dignity gone! And then him confirming its negative. Right then. That’s it. What now????

It was at this point I was sent away with a blood test form to test for hormone levels and a referral for an internal ultrasound.

With blood tests relating to fertility – they have to be done at certain points in your cycle. Fine and dandy for people with normal periods….but HELLOOOOO….that’s why I’m here!!! I don’t have a regular cycle. How can I know when is 5 days before my period when I haven’t had one in 3 months???

I will write again next time describing the tests…….