Archives for the month of: September, 2012

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“Everyone dies, but its what you do with each day before then that counts”.

Not necessarily the happiest quote – but it struck a cord with me when I heard it.

I don’t like to waste my time – I don’t see the point in wasting my life away as I don’t know how much of it I have left.  However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t have ‘lazy’ days.  I love busy days when I’ve felt productive and accomplished lots – but I also love pajama days!  Sometimes those days are needed to recharge the batteries.  If you are tired all the time and don’t go for rest and recuperation once in a while – you end up wasting more time being grumpy or ill.  Taking that one day out every now and again saves time in the long run (well that’s my justification and I’m sticking to it!).

So enjoy all your days – whether they be lazy or busy.

We don’t know how long we’ve got, but I’d like to be able to look back with a smile!

Happy Sunday everyone! 

 

 

Sunday.

Normally one of my favourite days anyway.  I love my family and always enjoy seeing them.

However, what made it great was my husband.  And not because he did something amazingly expensive, bought me flowers, or cooked dinner (if he ever did that last one I’d be sure he was guilty of something really really bad).  But because he was happy and we talked.

Now, I’m not sure if its the same for everyone, but my husband and I have been together now for almost 15 years.  We talk all the time, but about nothing (if that makes sense).  Little things that have happened in the day, that is on the tv, or yes – even on facebook!  But, there isn’t a desire, need or enough topics to have deep and meaningful conversations every day (in my opinion)!

Over the last couple of days I’ve been doing some research on the internet (medical research) and I’ve suggested he ask his doctor to do some blood tests to explore a different angle.  I’m not a doctor I know, but I have this inkling.  I had the same inkling years and years before I was diagnosed with PCOS – and I was bang on.  So maybe…….

It wasn’t just that he was receptive to the idea, but he was happy, affectionate and thoughtful.  I’m not suggesting he isn’t normally like that, but not normally all those things together.  The biggest thing for me was the happy part.  When he is happy – I am happy.

My husband still doesn’t understand how much his mood effects me.  If he is in a foul mood, I will be.  I’ll try and get him out of his mood, and if I’m not successful, I feel I’ve failed, and I take it all very personally.  I get annoyed with myself for being that way – but I can’t help it!

So anyway – today was a good day.  I’m going to sit back and bask in it.  I feel loved.  I have learnt to appreciate the power of a small gesture.

I hope you all had a good day too!

I was required to work in Weymouth this Monday. So, we thought we’d take advantage.

With a hotel booked, on Sunday hubby & I set off on a 3 hour drive!

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It’s amazing what a change of scenery does for the body and soul!

I’ve always loved the sea. Although we were wrapped up in jumpers and coats, it was a fabulous afternoon. Relaxed. And look at what we found on the beach!

Sometimes we all need to take a break. This wasn’t a trip abroad, but it was nice to get away even just for one night.

Life’s not all bad! I just need to remind myself of that once in a while!

I’m not sure if its just me, but on occasion, when I’m home alone, it’s nice to grab a drink and enjoy a girly film.  My husband isn’t a fan….so needless to say I don’t get to watch them much!

So, the other day I do just that.  A film was on with Anne Hathaway (girly film queen) and it was described as a ‘touching romance’.  It was called One Day.

 

Perfect I thought…..

Wrong!

It is a brilliant film, don’t get me wrong.  BUT…..(look away now if you’ve not seen the film and intend to)….  I’ve established that ‘touching romance’ actually means depressing!  To me personally anyway.  Maybe the story line just struck a cord with me (which kind of highlights it was a good film with good acting).  Basically – I was expecting a happy ever after ending – which is what I want out of a girly film on a relaxing day.  But no.  She dies.  Tragically and too soon.

I guess the story line starting striking a cord when they decide to try for a baby.  They try for a year with no luck.  Then bam, Anne Hathaway’s character dies after being run over by a truck.  WTF!  (as close to swearing as I’ll get!).

Bye bye happy ending.  Which I guess made me scared I am going to kiss goodbye to my own happy ending.  We get through the difficult days with the hope that everything will be alright.  Lets face facts – Life Goes On regardless.  If we don’t have that hope, what’s the point?

So, at the end of the film, I angrily switched the TV off and went to sit in the sun (feeling sorry for myself without being clear why!).  But – several days later it is still bugging me!  I feel a slight paranoia when walking down the street – am I going to get run over by a bus?!?!  Madness I know!

Lesson learnt.  When trying to unwind – stick with what I know – watch Dirty Dancing!!!

On a serious note though – 2 sayings spring to mind. Although they do contradict each other a tad, they are both so true.  Life is too short and Life Goes On.  Either way life is a precious gift not to be wasted.

Sometimes I love my job, it takes me to various places that are beautiful.

 

 

 

It was a gorgeous day and this is a damn sighter nicer to look at than inside the office!

But, every time I see these sites now, I feel a little sadness. And to be honest I am getting a little fed up with myself for it.  I’m not dying or anything.  This isn’t the last time I will see these beautiful things.  But, I wish more and more that I had the opportunity to share them with children.  I want to be walking along that promenade with a buggy, or running after a little toddler – scared to death they will fall in the water – but loving their enjoyment of the different surroundings!

I don’t know whether my feelings are exaggerated by the fact that there seems to be another cycle of friends and colleagues falling pregnant.  I keep consoling myself with the fact the time isn’t right…..it will happen when its supposed to, won’t it???

Hopefully this phase will pass…..if I’m getting annoyed with myself, no doubt I am irritating those around me too!

So to anyone who reads this that knows me – SORRY!  Just give me a kick up the arse and tell me to get over it!

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Five years ago today, I celebrated the happiest day of my life.  Full of hopes & dreams.

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It seemed like a great way to celebrate the fact we’d been together 10 years!  How else could I have persuaded so many friends to come on holiday with us for a party? And how else could I justify spending so much money on a dress?!

As much as I joke, it was the most magical day. And although we’ve had ups & downs since that day, I don’t regret it for a minute.  I made a commitment to the man I love, my best friend, my soul mate. 

Not all our hopes & dreams have been fulfilled as yet, but I’d like to think there is still time. But the one thing that has come true is that we have created a safe, comforting and loving home.  My marriage is my safe haven & with it behind me I can do anything.

So happy anniversary to my husband x with all my love x