Archives for posts with tag: panic

Why do issues always arise on a weekend or bank holiday?

Easter Monday I woke up to find I had started spotting.  It’s amazing how quickly the panic started rising within me.

I called the non emergency NHS number, who in turn got a doctor to call me back. That phone call was the first time I said it out loud – that I am 5 weeks pregnant. It was just the harsh reality of having to follow that with – and I’ve started bleeding.

Ultimately…..I have just a few spots in the last 48 hours, so I am hoping all will be ok. The doctor said at this point it wasn’t a cause for concern and I didn’t need to go and see anyone.  I still have my scan next week, so I just have to hope and pray it actually shows a bubba and a heartbeat.  I have never wanted to wish my life away more…..I just want to fast forward until after the scan so I know either way.

I have to reiterate. This is not for the faint hearted! 


Yes people! It is that time of year again!  Christmas is just around the corner!

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So yes, it meant the decorations came out this weekend.  I love having all the decorations up!  It normally involves all the family and this year was no different….3 generations of us all unpacking, debating and carefully placing our collection built up over the last 40 odd years!

Over the last few years, each year I wonder whether this will be our last on our own as a couple.  By this time next year will we be parents?? So again, I am now starting to ponder that very question again.  And rather than wishing the answer, I now just think – Who knows?!

With the decorations up, my spirits have been lifted somewhat.  With the baby boom with my friends, as well as the news of the Royal baby, I’ve felt a little like I’ve been kicked while I’ve been down.  But the Christmas cheer is taking hold.  I have a good family around me and we will still have plenty of laughter (and eating!!).

Christmas doesn’t stop everything though – and so tomorrow is another trip to the doctors to book in for yet more tests.  The butterflies in the belly have started already – and its not even to have the actual test.  But the same fears go round my head.  What if they find something wrong, what if they don’t!  I don’t want either – and I want both!  If they find something wrong – then they can get on and fix it and at least there has been a reason for nothing happening.  If they don’t – that’s good, but does this just mean its not meant to be???

I hope you are all getting into the Christmas spirit or just enjoying these festive times with your loved ones.  I appreciate each and every day, I hope you do to.