lender-decisions

In my previous post, I mentioned that we needed to make a decision…..a choice…..one egg or two for the FET.

I am all booked in for Wednesday at 2pm.

First of all – I would like to curse the internet.  Providing so much information (sometimes conflicting) that my head is ready to burst and full of worst case scenarios.  I know this sounds hypocritical, considering I am writing a blog online, but right now – I feel like ignorance would be bliss.  But, that’s just not my style.  I research, research, research.  I like to make informed decisions.

Up until now, the only decision we have had to make so far is that we want a family.  All the other decisions have pretty much been made by the doctors and we have gone along with them.  All part of the process.

But this ball is firmly back in our court.

From pretty early on, I was always inclined to go for 2 eggs (if that was an option).  Because I am over 35, it is an option (in my area, they will not do multiple eggs if under 35) and we have enough good quality eggs.  The main thoughts behind this were: we don’t mind having twins, in fact I quite like the idea albeit am petrified how hard it will be; I want to improve my chances of this being successful first time (surely 2 eggs have more chance??); and research has highlighted the risk that not all eggs survive the thawing process.

There are negatives in that; there are likely to be more pregnancy complications with twins; as I understand it I am at a higher risk of miscarriage because of my PCOS; if we were lucky enough for two sticky beans, they would likely need to be born prematurely which is a risk for them; and should something happen to one – there is a risk I lose both.

Then, at my last scan, the doctor said I should go for one.  The eggs are high quality and so she thinks its a given I will fall pregnant with twins.  Whilst I like her confidence….her main concern was the complications during pregnancy.  She also confirmed, if we went for one egg, and that did not survive the thaw, another one would be done immediately on the day, so there would be no further delays (another concern).

When I called the clinic to then make my appointment for the FET – I said that very thing because they already had the paperwork stating two eggs were to be transferred.  The woman was very kind and talked me through a few points; apparently alot of doctors advise against twin pregnancies due to the difficulties, but according to my notes, she said there was not reason to believe I would have any problems; this clinic’s success rate is 40 – 50% with one egg and 50 – 60% with two eggs; and in reality, as a clinic, they only advise against two eggs if there is a medical condition which means it really should be avoided, or we really don’t want twins.

This has swayed me back to going with two eggs again.

Now, I am bricking it.  A new concern that has entered my head.  What if the eggs do stick (yay) and then split? Forming 2 sets of identical twins??? Can my body cope with that? Would they survive??  In the past some of hubby’s family have joked around saying hubby was actually a twin, but the other twin didn’t survive.  I don’t think it is true…..I need to speak to my mother in law!

Has anyone else in this position actually been scared of success in this?  This is something that we have wanted for so long, but will change everything.  Are my worries normal?  I am dreading failure and a negative test at the end of the 2WW, but I am braced for it.  Or are all these random thoughts because of these hormone drugs???

Anyway – one step at a time.  4 days to go, and 2 eggs will be transferred.  Lets do this.