On Monday I had another scan.  This was 13 days after my positive ovulation test.

It confirmed that I released 2 eggs.  And that although my lining with thicker than it was without the medication….it could still be thicker.  The doctor said that if I wasn’t pregnant this time round, she would likely give me medication to improve that as well.

What confused me, was that she wasn’t able to tell, either way, from the scan whether I was pregnant or not.  Is that normal? She seemed to think so!

On Wednesday though, Mother Nature paid me a visit. So that’s a big, resounding, YOU ARE NOT pregnant. 

I know I should be patient because this was the first month with a real chance at falling….but that does stop the stab of disappointment. And when I say stab…I mean right through the friggin heart…where the knife has stuck and twisted.  Ok….I’m being melodramatic. But it’s frustrating….to take so long to get this far….which I realise just means I’ve finally got a chance to step onto the playing field. Never mind scoring a goal……since when did I start using sport analogies?!

Anyway. I am now on the next round of Clomid.  So fingers crossed again.

I’ve also taken the opportunity to look back and re-evaluate whether I feel I’ve had any side effects.  I didn’t think I had…when I was taking the tablets. I am taking them at night as I planned because it seemed to work for me last time.

2 aspects I am going to keep an eye on this time round is ovulation and my overall mood.  The day of my positive test and the next I did feel quite a bit of discomfort with frequent sharp stabbing pains.  In all honesty I thought it was just wind….but it may well have been the ovulating that caused the pain. I’ll see if it happens again.

My overall mood will be more difficult, but looking back I have struggled more this month and had a lot more ‘woe is me’ moments.  I always try to be a positive person, but there were some really low points this month.  Again…not sure if that was just me….or if the medication played a hand in that. This month I’ll hopefully know more!

So….here we go again. If we don’t succeed this month, I’m going to make sure the doctor refers me for IVF. She mentioned it at my appointment and confirmed there is a 4 month waiting list. I’d rather be on that and cancel, then not and add in more waiting time into this very protracted process!

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