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It has been a big week for us this week…..

It was my husband’s birthday on Thursday.  A few friends also celebrated their birthdays in the same week, so we had a small party.

It was a good night, filled with good friends & laughter.  We finally rolled home at 7am, truly knackered!

In addition, my husband also found out he got a job! He has been unemployed for over 5 years, so this was a truly life changing event.

When we got the news, I was thrilled & so proud.  It also helped me think that everything is starting to fall into place. Maybe we haven’t fallen pregnant because the time truly isn’t right. I began to feel optimistic that we were working our way towards that ‘right time’.

But, at the party, it seemed like us having children was the topic on everyone’s mind.  Maybe it didn’t help that a number of them are midwives so deal with babies daily. I felt like we were being interrogated at times about whether we were going to have them, when & how many.

How many times can we make up different excuses?? My latest one now is that I’m worried about having a child born in 2013. I mean come on! Even I laugh at the patheticness of that comment!!! But people buy it (I think).

As much as I was able to laugh it off on the night, it has gone deeper than that. I am low now, and can feel the ‘woe is me’ frame of mind creeping in. I’ll let myself wallow for another day before snapping myself out of it.

I still have a lot to be grateful for & I know that.  Plus a 12 year old lical girl has been missing since Friday. These scary things help put things in perspective.

It will happen for us one day I hope. I pray for that time every day.

Xx

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